Join this Quirky Girl at a new location

You can now find me at Quirky Girl Chronicles. 

Quirky Girl Chronicles

This blog is moving.  Or should that be, "I am moving?"  Well, I am not physically moving; just moving in cyber space.  As I wrote in my last post, I am ready for a fresh start, a fresh perspective. 

The intention of my new blog is to be as true to myself as I can be.  No worries about people pleasing.  No worries about who is following, who is not following, who has drop out of following.  Ouch.  That last one hurts when it happens.  I took it so personally.  No more. 

I will embrace who the Lord created me to be.  My new blog is named in honor of my new goal: to express acceptance of myself in a positive way: Quirky Girl Chronicles.  Yep, that surely fits me.  I am a quirky girl.  And I am finally okay witht that.  Fresh start.  That's what I hope for. 

I hope you had a blessed Christmas and I pray 2010 will be a year drawing you even closer to the LORD.

Unto Us a Child Is Born!

The Nativity by Brian Jekel

Thank You Lord for being Emmanuel, God with Us.  We love You and praise You!  We are nothing without You.  Every good thing we have comes from You!

Changing direction

Midnight Crosses by Tamara D. Kontrimas

I new year is approaching.  I am not one to make New Year's resolutions, but I think self-improvement is a good thing. 

God has changed my way of thinking in the past few weeks.  I have struggled with people-pleasing for so long that even when I thought I was making progress, I really wasn't.  I was lying to myself.  That probably doesn't make sense unless you've been in the throse of people-pleasing. 

They say so much stems back to childhood and that is definitely true in my case.  I was a girl with my nose in the air in high school.  YUCK!  The only person I cared about pleasing was my dad.  My life was about making him happy and that's just how he wanted it.

As I grew older, I felt so ashamed for thinking I was better than others.  I went to the other extreme of self-loathing and just wanting other people to like me.  I really felt I had to earn my way into people's lives.  I didn't think I was deserving of the love and friendship of others simply by being me.

I became so good at people-pleasing that I gradually slipped into not even recognizing my own likes, dislikes, and opinions.  Even when I did hold a certain opinion, if someone disagreed with me, I would question myself, even convince myself that I was wrong.  (Sometimes I was, but that's not what I am getting at.)   This was different than having an open mind; it was about not being secure enough in who I amto trust my judgment.

See, I went through over seventeen years (maybe longer) of making BIG mistakes.  BIG.  BIG.  MISTAKES.  I felt so much shame that I continually punished myself.

I asked God's forgiveness and tried to live my life for Him, but somehow I was still stuck.  I continually felt defeated even as I tried to walk with the Lord. 

I look back at some of my blog posts and they make me sad.  Mixed up girl not knowing herself.  That's who I see when I read those posts. 

This has gone on way too long.  God is teaching me how to be assertive and loving at the same time.   My heart is changing.  My thought life is changing.  I am changing.  Something happened with a close family member of mine very recently that sparked this change.  Although it was very painful, God used it for good, as He always does.  Thank You, LORD.  You are the PERFECT parent!

My duty in life is to please God.  I want to keep my focus on this goal.  I am completely worn out from trying to be in the good graces of others.  No wonder I am so tired all the time. 

I am going in a new direction.  I know this is going to require change on my part and continued cooperation with the Lord.   I also know this is God's will for me because I have felt Him nudging me and supporting me along the way. 

I am considering starting a fresh new blog.  I'll keep you POSTED.  Pun intended! 

Merry Christmas

I have been having the best time with my kiddos this Christmas break!  I would say this is our best Christmas yet. 

Lauren and I hosted her annual ornament exchange last Saturday.  She has such sweet friends and a couple of them truly impressed me with the way they shine their light for Christ!

We had decorated Christmas cookies and because Jeff and Logan had escaped the madness.  So, I let Lauren and Logan decorate some more cookies.  I have to tell you, it's the best sugar cookie dough I have ever made thanks to a recipe I found on Recipezaar.com. 

We have a winter storm heading this way so we found out this morning that Jeff's family is not going to be able to make the trip for Christmas.  Lauren was really disappointed but they are going to try to make it next week.  It was hard to see her so sad, but I think she understands.  So, now we have flipped our plans and will be spending Christmas with my parents (they live nearby) and New Year's with Jeff's mom and sister. 

The kids soothed themselves by making peanut butter banana smoothies.  I cannot believe they like those cold things even in the winter, but they sure do!  At least they are very healthy.  I helped from behind the camera.  I was thoroughly impressed with their work!

Lauren is heading to a Christmas party this evening with our neighbors' kids while Jeff, Logan and I watch White Christmas, Jeff's favorite Christmas movie which truly surprises those who know him.

Merry Christmas!

Making Your Home Sing Monday! Woohoo!

I am completely thrilled to share that this is my last Monday of classes for the semester!  Wait... it's my last day of classes!  I am a happy, happy girl!  I went to meet the sweet little third-graders I will be student teaching next month and now I am even more excited to get started!
Okay back to one of the reasons I love to blog....

This coming Saturday is Lauren's (my seven-year-old daughter) second annual ornament exchange.  I am finishing up with decorating (this is the first year it has taken me this long!) and looking forward to my excursion to purchase all of the fun treats for the party! 

I will be cleaning this house from top to bottom since it has definitely been put on the back-burner these last few months.  There's something cleansing to the soul when one cleans house.  Well, maybe it's just because I love all things organization and disinfecting.  That must be my OCD kicking in again.

Well, here are just  few glimpses of my home so far during the Christmas decorating process. 

There's still more to do, but at least I've got a good start. 

What are you going to do to make your house sing?

Tis the season

 

Good grief, I have been so busy lately.  I think we all have, right?  It’s just that time of year.

I am so excited because tomorrow I begin the last week (before finals) of my semester of grad school before student teaching in the Spring.  I got to meet the teacher who’s class I will be teaching in and we just clicked immediately.  What a blessing.  AND… she’s a Christian!  Even bigger blessing.  God has been so faithful to connect me with Christian teachers in public schools  along with several Christian professors.  My heart sure is happy about that!

In other news, we got the house decorated which is my FAVORITE thing to do each year.  I love Christmas!  I love the scents and sounds, the hustle and bustle.  Although there is so much busyness, there is a feeling of peace I experience each year since giving my life to Christ.  I love that everywhere I look, whether or not the world wants to recognize it, I am constantly reminded that Jesus gave up Heaven so He could feel our pain, give us worth, and save us from our sins.  It astonishes me every time I consider what He has done.

Other things my heart is at peace about…

I had posted that I was distraught over what to do about church.  My kids and I were going to a church I loved!  I thought my daughter did, too, but it turns out she has been so worried about telling me what she thought I wanted to hear, that she was not being forthcoming with me.  (I’ll table that for another post because that is a topic in and of itself!)  Anyhow, my husband did not like it AT ALL!  It was starting to become a major source of tension in our marriage. 

I prayed and prayed and prayed so more.  I asked friends to pray.  I asked family to pray.  I didn’t want to leave the church I was certain God wanted us to be at!  Still something felt wrong.  It felt wrong that I had resentment toward my husband for not feeling what I felt about that particular church.

So, I decided to lay my pride at Christ’s feet.  This morning, we visited a church.  I felt such peace inside.  I wasn’t even sure why.  I enjoyed the service.  The message was biblically sound, relevant and practical.  Still, I didn’t get my hopes up.  Jeff is a hard man to please when it comes to church.  (We had a very hurtful experience so I am not stating this in a critical way.  He has reason to feel the way he does and I understand why he has been cynical.)  However, on the way home, Jeff told me how much he liked the service, the church, the atmosphere and that he wants to go back next week!  What?  My husband is a “can I get by with going to church once a month?” kind-of-guy.  Then, my daughter said how much she loved Sunday School.  And she said… it wasn’t even because they gave out candy! 

When we talked about things, I understood that it was pretty simple.  My husband and my daughter experience a lot of anxiety about crowds.  The churches I have always preferred are big and busy!  I had to ask Jeff, Lauren, and God to forgive me for being so blinded by my own preferences that I hadn’t really thought my husband's or daughter’s preferences were as important.  Ouch! 

Another lesson.  Thanks, Lord!  You always work things out for Your glory! 

Random

I decided to brave Black Friday shopping but didn’t get up early for it.  Instead, I took my daughter to see Planet 51 (since she has been fever-free for 48-hours and feeling much better) and then dropped her off at my parents’ house to hang out with her daddy, brother, and grandparents.  I am so thankful for the great relationship my husband has with my parents.  My kids can’t tell who their child is, me or Jeff!  Anyhow, I spent the afternoon at Target and got about 75% of my Christmas shopping done.  It really wasn’t all that bad in the afternoon.  I saw a lot of tired faces though.

I am at a crossroads again with a few things.  My husband and I have not agreed where to go to church.  It’s been really hard.  I have a strong opinion about where I want to go but he has not been going.  I have not known what to do.  Do I follow where I think the Lord wants me and my kids or do I find someplace that my husband will be comfortable going?  I am open to suggestions.  I am really struggling with this.  I want to honor the Lord and my marriage. 

Another thing I have been struggling with is loneliness.  It sounds so silly… I miss having close friendships, but it has been really hard for me to meet women I click with.  Sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with me.  I like people.  I do.  I just truly have trouble with isolating myself.  I am a homebody.  I am not a fan of talking on the phone.  I don’t text.  I am okay with email, but since Facebook came along, that has gone by the wayside as well. 

I don’t know.  How does one make friends?  Why can’t I seem to find a place where I belong?  Not the end of the world.  I am a pretty content person, but I feel an emptiness inside where female friendships are concerned.

Any advice?

So much for which to be thankful

Happy Thanksgiving!

My baby girl (well, a seven-year-old is not technically a baby, but she is MINE) and I are experiencing a kink in our Thanksgiving plans.  Despite my husband’s and my best efforts to keep our kids from catching H1N1 from me, Lauren was diagnosed with it yesterday.  So, instead of heading to my mom’s with Jeff and Logan, we are staying in.  My sweet mama is sending over food for us though with my equally sweet hubby.  She makes THE BEST noodles ever and they are my favorite Thanksgiving treat. 

I am so thankful today for many things. 

1. The perfect love of my Savior Jesus Christ.  He continues to show me that He is indeed  El Shaddai– All Sufficient!  He is my everything and I am nothing without Him.  As one of my friends said, “He is the glue that holds me together!”

2. The gift of being married to my best friend and all that God has done to take our relationship from what seemed hopeless to one that gives me so much joy and fulfillment.  There is no one else with whom I would want to take life’s journey.

3. My children who are the most precious blessing God could ever bestow upon my life.  They teach me every day about what is truly important in and good about  life.

4. My mom and dad who remind me that parenting does not end when kids move out of the house.  I love and appreciate them more all the time.  They are the best grandparents I could ever ask for my children to have.

5. All the things I take for granted at times: a home, clothes, food, clean water, an able body, another day to breathe… so many things. 

6. Our military and their families.  May God bless and protect them.

 

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Making your home sing Monday!

Well, I was so excited to get back into MYGSMs and I was down for the count last Monday. I feel so, so much better now. I will not ever again say something is a bunch of hype. That’s what I had said about H1N1 until I felt the dreaded effects.

I digress…
Mondays are my busy days. I have school from noon to ten. Not my idea of a great time, but it is the means to an end: student teaching next semester! Yeah!

So, what am I going to do to make my home sing today when I really won’t be here much? Well, I am doing what I can to make sure my house is neat and tidy: dishes done, laundry put away, and countertops in kitchen and bathrooms wiped down. That way, tomorrow I will not wake up grouchy because of feeling overwhelmed by all I need to do.

Hopefully, I will be a little more inspired next Monday. For now, this is the best I can do.
What are you going to do to make your home sing?

What is left undone?

I have never been as sick in my life as I was last week.  I thought it was a bunch of hype, but I ended up with H1N1, bronchitis, and a sinus infection.  No fun!  I felt helpless and depressed.  I ended up in the ER because of dehydration.  I was scared.  I have never been so sick that it scared me.  I thought about a friendship I have that had fallen apart because my friend felt betrayed by me when we left our church.  I had hurt feelings toward her for quite a while, but as I lay in bed seriously wondering if this was how it was going to end for me, my friend’s face just kept running through my thoughts.  None of the bad feelings I had mattered.  All I thought was how sad it would be for something to happen to me without making things right with her.  So, the next morning, because I had no voice, I emailed her to tell her that if something had happened to me, I would have died regretting letting going of a friendship that was so special to me because we were both bull-headed.  It doesn’t matter anymore who was right, who was wrong, who said what, who didn’t call.  All that matters is that God wants us to be united.  Amazingly, my sweet daughter told me she had been praying for me and my friend to make up.  She was really happy when I told her that we were going to be having coffee as soon as Mommy was all better.  God is so good! 

My light has been pretty dim the last few days.

I am most definitely a cold weather girl; I love fires in the fireplace, sipping hot cocoa, snuggly blankets, and fuzzy slippers.  But… I do not like the sickness that has been wreaking havoc on my family. 

At first we were sick one at a time, passing a bug onto one another from week to week.  However, this last week ALL of us have been sick and we are just plain tired of it!  I have been more than a little cranky.  To put it in the terms of my dear friend, “I’ve been walking around like I was baptized in lemon juice!” 

This all got me thinking about those who suffer with chronic or terminal illnesses.  I am especially thinking of those I know who  have gone or are currently going through such illnesses with smiles on their faces and joy in their hearts.  It amazes me how the Holy Spirit fills them up so completely that they overflow with His beauty.  No one  but the Lord Jesus Christ can have such an impact. 

This also makes me think how as believers, we are always  being watched.  We probably have no idea how many people observe how we handle different circumstances.  We have a wonderful opportunity to be witnesses to God’s life-changing, mind-altering power just by having an attitude of gratitude and a positive outlook no matter the situation. 

This is so much easier to type than to live out, but I am going to pray, asking my Heavenly Father to help me live a life that glorifies Him.  I love how I recently heard Beth Moore express a prayer that she prays for herself and her family: “Lord, please protect us from everything but Your glory!”

“In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:16).

Am I the only one constantly picking her jaw up off the ground?

Mondays are long days for me.  I do my usual stay-at-home mama duties in the morning and then I head out for an adventure in the land of collegiate learning.  My classes begin at 12:30 and do not end until 9:55.  For a girl who gets anxiety when her head isn’t on the pillow by 9:30, you can imagine that Mondays just plain take it out of me.  Sigh. 

Two days ago, I felt as though I was  living in the Twilight Zone.  But God said, “Nope.  You’re living in the world.”  (Okay, if you’ve been reading my blog for any time at all, you probably have noticed that I spend much of my day in conversation with God.  I tell Him everything!  And I am sure there are days He is tempted glue my lips shut!)  I digress.

So, back to Monday…

Here is just a list of things I observed that had me dumbfounded:

• As I am walking into a class, I hear two young men casually conversing about why they choose to smoke meth as opposed to heroine.  I am telling you, they seemed to not notice or care who overheard them. 
• I am headed into a classroom as I am walking down the hall, I  notice two young men in much more than a friendly embrace (to put it mildly).  Above them was a poster hanging on the wall detailing the life of the first openly gay Episcopalian Bishop including an invitation to a presentation on diversity.
• I listened to a professor explain that we would each be helping the national economy if we rack up credit card debt.  After all, it would be selfish not to do our part in helping our country and if we are not willing to do this, then we have no right to complain about the current conditions.
• And last but certainly not least, I am told by a Christian friend that it is important to listen to secular music, watch secular movies, and not be too “prudish” so that I am able to relate more to others. 

I am sorry but did I miss the part where God said that He didn’t really mean when He said we are in the world but we are not to be of the world? 

I spent the majority of my life being enmeshed in worldly things and the result was a crushed spirit.  I have had to draw a line in the sand as to what is and is not okay for my family and me. 

I try very hard not to judge others because if loving Christians hadn’t cared enough to reach out to a pit-dweller like me (to put it in Beth Moore’s terms), I would still be a very lost soul.

However, I am a firm believer that God accepts us just as we are but loves us to much to leave us that way.  Shouldn’t we be trying to influence the world instead of letting the world influence us? 

Okay.  I can breathe now.  I just had to get that off of my chest!

Making Your Home Sing Monday - I'm Baaaack!

Boy, have I missed the days of blogging like I used to.  What changed?  I know...

I went from being a part-time student to a full-time student.  I went from spending time thinking of how I could write about all the Lord is doing in my lift to spending time reading the status updates of my "friends" on Facebook.  I went from being organized and intentional to runnning around like a chicken with my head cut off.

Well, God has said, "Enough already, child... Get back to MY priorities for your life!"  Okay.  I didn't hear those words audibly but my soul did.

So, what I am doing this week to make my home sing?

I am not getting on Facebook for a full week.  I am going to devote the time I would normally spend Facebooking (can you believe it's a verb now?!) and spend it working on one thing in each of the priority areas of my life.:

God: Spend time each morning in His Word and with Him in my prayer closet.
My husband: Make his favorite fall recipe: White Lightning Chicken Chili.
My children: Play their favorite game, Operation, with them and NOT be in a hurry to get the next item checked off my to-do list.
My home: Iron the mountain of clothes currently adorning my ironing board.
My spiritual growth: Take time to do my bible study homework each day instead of trying to cram it all in on Wednesday before going to class.
Serving others: Hmmm... praying about this one.  We'll see what God has in store for me. 

How are you going to make your home sing this week?

May God bless you abundantly!

Heather

October is Over

I can hardly believe October has come and gone.  We did our usual Halloween thing again this year by trick-or-treating in my parents’ neighborhood.  My hubby grilled steaks and we enjoyed a fun  night of sugar overload! 

Lauren was a hippie and Logan was a pirate.

Since we’re going organic, I am trying to find a reasonable way to deal with the candy.  I think I am going to let them have a little bit of it on the weekends.  I do not want to be a freak about refined sugar, but God has definitely showed me how irresponsible I was regarding it and how I was teaching my children bad habits.  So far, we are all benefitting from our new ways.  What a blessing!

Our weekend in pictures….

 

We had such a great time this weekend!  What great memories!  Church, Faulkner’s Ranch, Buffalo Wild Wings, and home… just some of our favorite places to spend time together.

 

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Sugar shock

 Have I told you about my sweet tooth?  Have I told you how I have passed said sweet tooth onto my children?  Have I told you how many times I knew I SERIOUSLY NEEDED to kick my sugar habit?  Have I told you how many times I have resolved to kick the sugar habit only to end right back in the middle of a Hershey bar? 

People say, “oh, you can eat as much sugar as you want.  You’re thin,” but they don’t realize how terrible my diet is.  Because I eat so much sugar, I don’t eat other things because I don’t want the calories.  (Oh, yes, I am sure I have written about this before.)  So, my calorie intake stays at a good level, but it is a very unhealthy diet.  I mean VERY.  For instance, last Monday, I had a coffee with a packet of hot cocoa in it for breakfast.  A Zone Bar for lunch.  A mini bag of Reese’s Pieces for dinner. 

I have tried to be self-motivated by trying to get through my head that my body is God’s temple and that I am not being a good steward of my body by not taking care of it in a healthy way.  Still, no change. 

Then, last night happened. 

I had a parent-teacher conference with my daughter’s teacher (who is such a blessing to us) and it became very apparent that my daughter’s sugar intake is affecting her ability to focus.  My girl is very bright, but she practically jumps out of her own skin with hyperactivity.  I cried all the way home.  I knew I had hurt my daughter by setting a bad example for her and allowing her to overindulge on sugar.

I have always been afraid of her developing an eating disorder like I did so I never wanted to put limits on food.  Now, I realize how unwise that was. 

So, now my whole family is on-board with getting healthy.  I went grocery shopping today and my grocery cart looked much different than usual.  No more refined sugar (well, in very moderate portions).  Also, I am trying to cook as m uch from scratch as possible so I can eliminate processed foods. 

I truly wish I could have loved myself enough long ago so I would not have developed this problem and passed it onto my kiddos.  All I can do now, is repent and turn away from doing the wrong thing. 

One thing I finally understand is that this is not about will-power or trying harder or doing better.  This is about where my heart lies.  I surrender this to the Holy Spirit and ask Him to guide me through this and provide me the strength and discernment to make choices that honor Him and will help my family to be good stewards of the bodies the Lord has given us.

I’ll post our progress. 

In Christ’s love,

Heather

House projects, a good buy, and the view from my front window

We have spent the better part of the last year changing all the trim in our house from wood stain to white.  While I love the outcome, it was a much longer and more tedious process than I imagined.  Still, I love home improvement and paint is a pretty inexpensive way to redecorate.  Here is the ledge we just finished.  I am pretty pleased with how it turned out but now I need to get a window treatment and am not sure what I want.

 

We were in desperate need of a new comforter (after my two boston terriers wore out the last one) for our bed and I found this one at Target for 50% off!  I really liked it but it is not my hubby’s favorite.  After he heard that it was an  eight-piece queen set for $40, he decided it will probably grow on him.  It looks much shinier in this picture than it is in-person.  I am definitely not a fan of flash!  Ah, and there is the Terry Redlin print I talked Jeff into bidding on at Bass Pro.  He was certain we would not have the winning bid, but his wife knew better! 

Here is one of my favorite things about autumn: the beautiful color my maple tree turns. 

And last but certainly not least, here are my babies.  Lauren is teaching Logan about the computer reading program they use at school.  Sometimes, technology is a great thing! Have a wonderful weekend!

In Christ’s love,

Heather

Did you catch Dr. Phil?

For many years I was a Dr. Phil fan, then it started getting a little too much like the Jerry Springer Show so I stopped watching.  However, this season, the good ol’ doctor is back to giving practical advice to which I have really been able to relate.  The past two shows have especially interested me.  The one from yesterday on sibling abuse left my heart a little raw so I’ll have to write about that on another day.

On Wednesday, discussion topic was stay-at-home moms versus working moms.  Although I adore being stay-at-home mom, I had a big problem with the way one woman was self-righteous about staying home with her children and incredibly judgmental of women who work outside the home.  Why, as women, do we have such a propensity for tearing down one another instead of building up one another?  I don’t get it. 

I remember a time when all I wanted to do was be a stay-at-home mom, but I thought is was financially impossible.  Little did I know the plans God had for us so that I could stay home, but I know this is not the case for many women.  I know many friends who work outside the home while aching to be home with their kids.  I know friends who stay home and ache to be back in the work force.  I know friends who work outside the home and have no desire to be a stay-at-home mom. 

Here is my opinion on this:  I think children benefit from having a stay-at-home mom who WANTS to be at home.  I think if a woman stays home out of guilt, her kids will feel that and there will be a resentment that grows from that.  I think there are situations where, for financial reasons, a woman must work outside the home.  I also know that there are women who want to stay home but their husbands are not comfortable with that so they work outside the home.  I think we need to make choices that are best for us personally and stop judging one another.

In my situation, I would love to be a stay-at-home mom forever.  However, there are two reasons this is not going to happen.  One is that God has put a calling on my life to be an elementary teacher.  The other is that my husband has dreams of things he would like for us to be able to do as a family and I want to honor how he feels about that even if I do not completely agree.  So, my plan is that when my youngest starts kindergarten I will begin my teaching career. 

However, one never knows what tomorrow could bring.  My husband could lose his job and I would need to work outside the home.  We never know what circumstances will come our way which makes it especially important not to cast judgment. 

Many years ago I remember verbally judging someone for something she did and stating how awful I thought it was.  Wouldn’t you know that I found myself in those same circumstances about a year after making that statement. 

Let’s stop being so hard on each other and treat one another with the love and gentleness Jesus commanded us to.

 

In Christ’s love,

Heather

“Back up the truck, My child”

No, I don’t really think that’s how God put it, but as soon as I was ready to let blogging go, He said, “no.”  Why?  I was confused.  I really thought that’s what He wanted me to do.  I hadn’t been “feelin’ it” when it came to blogging lately.  Then He let me know it is NOT about my feelings.  It is about my attitude.

Okay.  This is just plain embarrassing, but I have not been one to hold back on writing about my shortcomings so why should this be any different?  I visit many blogs and, quite frankly, I just don’t feel like I measure up. 

I am not a gifted writer.  I am not an innovator of ideas for Christian living.  I do not have a lot of funny stories to share.  I am just an ordinary girl with a really ugly past who continues to be amazed by how God’s love covers all of my iniquities.  I really didn’t think I had much to share that anyone would be interested in. 

Then, the truth hit me:  pride and comparison!  That’s been my problem.  Yuck, yuck, yuck! 

It’s not about me; it’s about Him.  An audience of One. 

So, I guess I’m not going anywhere.  For now.  Unless He tells me otherwise. 

Men are right; women really do have a hard time making up their minds!

 

In Christ’s love,

Heather